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Frequently Asked Questions v2.0

Before you read this FAQ,
you might want to read the Original FAQ first.

1.   Who are you?
Dude -- I said read the Original FAQ, ok?

2. So anyway, I noticed in the last FAQ that you evaded questions about your site being full of pastels. Are you Metrosexual?
No, I'm not. At least I don't think so. I do absolutely love Queer Eye. Carson cracks me up but Kyan's the coolest.

3. While we're on the subject of pronouncing things, would you call this a "Fack" or an "Eff-ay-cue"?
It's definitely a "fack." F-A-Q is for people that have time to say "F-A-Q" instead of just "fack."

4. How exactly can you be a Yankees fan and liberal at the same time?
I get this a lot, so I suppose it's time to answer it. The short answer is, "It's pretty easy."

Sports are fun and entertaining, and I'm happy to root for the team I grew up rooting for instead of switching just because they spend a boatload of money on their players. Although they would hurt the Yankees, I support more liberal-minded devices such as revenue-sharing and a salary cap.
And anyway, who wants to watch the Mets? Jeez...

5. I read your original FAQ and it was much more entertaining than this one.
Uh, that doesn't sound like a question to me... but yeah, it's question five and I'm running on fumes here. This may end up being a ten-question FAQ.

6. Do you really post from class?
Yes, occasionally. In fact, I'm often engaging in a witty repartee with my professors while I type out fun SMP? posts. No, really.

7. I hate myself for being addicted to your site. How does that make you feel?
Cool -- I love myself for making you feel that way.

8. Your weblog entries since late April indicate that you worked for a firm this summer and are back at school as a 3L. Does that mean this didn't work out?
Um, err, no, it didn't. By the way, can I borrow ten bucks?

9. What web sites to you frequent?
I like ESPN.com for sports, CNN.com for news, Fark for fun and Friendster for wasting time.

Obviously, my most favoritest website is mine!

10. Your site is technically a law blog, or "blawg." I don't see much law on your site... why is that?
Well, there are a lot of other sites out there that discuss law and politics. And while I discuss those topics now and then, I've decided to focus on some of the other topics in my masthead -- pop culture, golf, sports, and, of course, inanity.

11. I'm an assuming guy from a small town who's never had luck with the ladies. One day, though, I was in my favorite restaurant when the most amazing thing happened. You see, this restaurant is my favorite because every waitress there is beautiful and has a perfect figure. I always assumed all the stories in your magazine were made up, until one happened to me...
Whoa, there, buckaroo. TMI, man.

12. Do you have any special talents?
Yes. I can crack my ears. No, really -- it's kinda gross, but also kinda cool. Much like ESPN's "Playmakers".

13. What percent of your life never makes it onto your blog?
Probably about 99%.

14. What's on your cutting room floor?
As of this FAQ (10/26/03), I've had 1271 entries on the blog and twelve of those are "closed" entries. A closed entry is one that I wrote but isn't on the site. Now and then I'll outright delete something, but most of the time I just close it if I'm not putting it on a site. Now and then I edit things, of course, but the site is pretty much unadulterated Poonage (if you will). Anyway, here are the closed entries:

6 of them are from before 1/9/03, the launch date of SMP?. These are mostly just tests or cute notes to Ms. Poon (awwww!).
3 of them were double-posts where I closed the duplicate post.
2 of them were removed by me at the suggestion of others (suggestions I agreed with).
1 of them was this post... don't know why it was closed; must have been an accident.

15. Oooh... removed at the suggestion of others? Sounds exciting!
Not really.

16. Have you ever met any other bloggers?
Actually, no. At least none that I didn't already know before either of us started blogging. [UPDATE: I did meet Howard Bashman of How Appealing, which I discussed in this post.]

17. How do you publicize your site? Do all your friends read it? Do you have friends?
I don't do much in the way of self-publicizing. I have told a few friends about the site -- those that I'm sure would enjoy it. Otherwise, I don't mention it.

This leads to an occasional encounter with someone who will say, "I liked that post on [topic] today." Finding out that someone ended up at the site (and actually liked it) is pretty fun.

Oh, and I have no friends. Because I'm actually an Olive Garden, where everyone is FAMILY! Yay!!!!

18. Are you like this in real life?
Yes. Those that know me and read SMP? tend to agree that it's very, very "me."

19. If you could do anything in the world, what would you do?
Skip ahead to question 20.

20. Seriously, though, what's the meaning of life?
I'm still not telling!
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